AT LONG LAST! The Squeezing Vagina Story - Part 2

Sorry for the long wait, story lovers!  Read on, and enjoy!
                                                                                                                        

A vagina is extraordinarily unique.

I mean, really, it is.  Just look at it.  First of all, it's pink.  Or at least, it should be.  It also has a shape that is...well, all to it's own.  Except for maybe a canyon photographed from an airplane.  Or a top-down view of a venus flytrap.

I wasn't prepared to deal with this...shimmering (?)...construction of nature.  Really, at that time I didn't have any idea what to do with any form of sexual expression.  But nonetheless, we all have a "first time".  And I was about to experience the true wonder and mystique of that organ we affectionately call: the cooch.

                                                                                                                        

There I was, sitting on the couch next to the pretty girl that I was "seeing" at the time.  I don't remember when this was.  I know it was at least late middle school, early high school.  So, I had a semi-woman girlfriend...thing.  I don't know what it was.  Do we ever?

Apparently, I write in short fragments when I dance around embarassing truths.

Ok.  I went over to this girl's house, and we were making out.  It was the first time I had ever kissed a girl, had ever kissed anything on the mouth really.  It was certainly the first time I had a tongue in my mouth.  I will say that tongues taste absolutely delightful, even girl tongues.  Girl tongues often taste like cherries, or pomegranate, or Dr. Pepper, depending on the lip gloss.  I, for one, adore Dr. Pepper.

So, we're making out.  "The Matrix" is playing in the background.  So romantic.  And then, it ends.  So, we keep making out.  Awesome.  Especially the boobs.  I just enjoy feeling them, and squeezing on them at random intervals.  Clearly, I was an expert at pleasuring women. She adored it when I rested my head on her booby and said it felt like my favorite pillow.

So much in fact, that she suggested we go upstairs.  "Shuh-weet," my teenage, straight, adolescent brain said.  "I can't wait to jump all over that woman body!  Yeah.  I'm so fuckin' straight.  She's so hot.  Mmmmm...woman."

                                                                                                                        

We went upstairs to her room.  I was immediately struck by the use of the color orange in her room - it complemented the bedspread so well, and just reminded me of the crisp, comforting atmosphere of autumn.  Really fabulous design choices.  So, the roll in the hay commenced.

We kissed. and kissed some more.  and then...the big moment came.

"I wanna blow you".

Ohhhh boy. She quickly aided me in removing my jeans (well, not really even that, just sliding them down to my ankles...which were still covered in socks...) and pulled down my Wal-Mart brand boxers in a similar fashion.  (and on that note, Wal-Mart sells some cute boxers.  These ones had adorable little burgers and fries on them.  Fast food boxers.  I recommend wearing boxers that make your privates feel wild and crazy.)  So, there it was.  My good ol' member, in all it's glory.

It was soft, of course.  I mean, she's a woman.  I liked how soft her boobs were, but putting my head on my actual pillow (about a bajillion times better) doesn't exactly get me hard.  This, of course, raises suspicion in the minds of female virgins.

And...scene:

INT. EL CASA DE LA VIRGIN - NIGHT

SHE: "What's the matter?"

ME: (PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC) "Sometimes it just takes a while."

SHE: "Ok...it's no problem."

SHE thusly proceeds to take MY limp dick into her mouth.

SHE: "Phhwwwwwfftttt."

(Three seconds of eternity pass)

SHE: "Phhwwwwwffftttttttt".

(Her cheeks are puffing out like a toad's neck when it's horny and courting a mate.)

ME: "What are you doing?"

SHE: "I'm giving you a blowjob.  Phhhwwwfffttttt."

ME: "Um, I think you're supposed to suck primarily, and blow some of the time."

SHE: "No, you're supposed to blow primarily and suck some of the time.  Phhhhwwfffftttttt."

ME: "I would prefer it if you sucked primarily and blew some of the time".

SHE: "Ok!"

Jesus Christmas.

                                                                                                                        

Needless to say, my mind was racing.  It had to have been a movie, right?  Do such things really happen to people in life?  Isn't this the scene that was cut from the prequel to "The Wedding Crashers"?  Otherwise known as "Traumatic Blowjob"?  I didn't know what to do.  I needed help.  I'm freaking out. What do I say?


ME: "I wanna go down on you."

SHE: "OOOOKKK!!!!"

It came out like vomit.  Black vomit.  The worst kind of vomit.  Before I knew it, I was face to face with it.  The shimmering canyon-from-space-top-down-venus-flytrap configuration known as...the vuhjayjay.

But I was ready.  I had practiced.  I was NOT gay.  I was going to dive right in between that baby gap and make magic happen.  I prepared myself, positioning my head at the proper angle.  I started between her porcelain legs, into the pink monster herself.  I forced my muscles to twitch - my head began the ultimate dive....and then...

It squeezed.

Right in front of my face.

I should explain.  Since we were virgins, obviously, she was a little nervous.  And obviously, when someone dives towards your private parts for the first time, you're going to tense your muscles.  Which is what she did, perfectly normal. However, from my extremely close viewpoint, it looked like the eye of Satan himself winked at me.

I jumped back, paralyzed with fear.  My mouth started blurting gibberish at lightspeed - "I'm sorry I just don't think I'm ready and you're lovely and everything but I'm just not feeling very..."

At that moment, her parents come into the house.  Shit.

Within seconds, we're fully dressed and down the stairs into the kitchen - well before her parents even open the door from the garage to enter the house.  They don't suspect a thing.  (Thank God, her father is the size of ten brick houses.)  She tries to convince me to stay till everyone "goes to bed," but before the the last syllable is out of her mouth, I'm out the door and into my car.

                                                                                                                        

I sit there.  I think.  I stare at myself in the rearview mirror.  And I just start to cry...huge buckets of tears.    It was official.  I couldn't hide from it anymore.  I was afraid of vaginas, and thusly, gay as the happiest Munchkin.  I felt so ashamed.  It's a tough thing to acknowledge the truth.  Especially when you have it shocked into you like that.  I was gay.

I cried there for a good five minutes, then wiped the condensation off the driver's window.  I stared up into the sky, right above a nearby church.  The moon was so bright.  And something about that gave me a sense of courage and calm.  I picked up my cell phone and dialed the boy I had been experimenting with.  His voice was rough as I leaked my feelings to him.  He was definitely not gay.  But he invited me over anyway.

We made love.  My real first time.

And I been gay ever since, boys and girls.
                                                                                                                        


That's the end of the first story, lovers.  Check out the new poll, and feel free to leave your thoughts, love, criticism, etc in the comments below.