Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Little Yellow Finch, a Ghost Story (Part i of ii)


Story lovers!  Welcome to the rebirth of the blog!  I will be giving more time back to this sucker...hopefully you'll continue to enjoy the stories as much as you did before.

On the story.
                                                                                                                         
A story of ghosts, family, and learning to be brave.

Fabrication factor:5
Exaggeration factor: 4
                                                                                                                         

Once upon a time,

There was a boy who may or may not have been me….
 
…and he had just experienced the single most terrifying moment of his life.  Lying awake in bed,  I stared out the window to the left of my bed, the bright, white, full moon shining through the trees, casting shadows that looked like sinster, shapeshifting faces.  My room felt so large – as if another presence was inside of it, full of staring, intrusive eyes that bore into me.  I looked out into the hallway (I always slept with my door open as a kid) waiting for whatever presence was there to come in and harm me.

You see, I had just watched Disney’s The Black Cauldron with my cousins.  And it had scared the pants off of me.

That’s right y’all – I was turned into a neurotic mess by a Mouse House cartoon.
                                                                                                                         

I was always a scaredy-cat kid.  Mere pictures of Freddy Kruger, Jason Voorhees, and the like would give me nightmares.  I was never allowed to watch R-rated movies – a rule that stuck all the way through high school.  Mostly because I conceded to it - I never wanted to watch any of them.  They scared the pants off of me. 

Looking back, I always wonder why I was always so easily scared as a id and why I had difficulty sleeping.  I truly believed for my entire childhood that my house was haunted – and I still do.  Some of the older houses in my neighborhood were hundreds of years old, and there are lots of stories of hauntings in them.  My house, on the other hand, is younger than I am – but at the same time, there is a definite presence there...an energy.  I don’t know what it is.  Maybe we were built over some kind of burial ground…maybe the energy from the surrounding houses has bled over into ours…maybe I just have an active imagination….

…but sometimes, weird things happen that you can’t explain.
                                                                                                                        

My father was having difficulty sleeping.  He had been complaining about it at dinner every night.  Family dinner was a big thing in my family.  Every single night, whether it was 5 pm or 10 pm, whether we were eating take out or homemade food, whether all five of us were there or not, we gathered around the dinner table and ate together.  Mom and Dad would drink wine, and my brother, sister, and I would chug 16 ounce glasses of skim milk while we all talked about our day and partook.

After dinner, I would play video games for about an hour, Dad and Mom would watch sports, Sis would play with her dolls or do basketball drills, and my brother would run around wreaking havoc…or we would all watch a movie…Dad would fall asleep on the couch, and eventually we would all turn in. 

And I would feel it.  The presence.  That thing that was in the room with me.  I remember staring at my closet, just waiting for whatever…thing…that was in there to jump out and pull me into its darkness forever.

However, in the daytime, the house never felt that scary (except on a couple rare occasions of a weird slamming door…or strange footsteps…those probably were generated by my imagination.)  Our house got a lot of light, and this summer, I was spending it watching Gullah Gullah Island (nothing scary about that shit) and chillin’ with my siblings and neighborhood friends.  We would run around all day, playing crazy games that you can only do as a kid, like pulling each other down hills in a wagon and calling it “roller coaster”.  Our neighborhood was very suburban, sterile, and safe.  Picture three-story, upper middle class, new-construction, red and grey-bricked homes…the 90’s products of investors in Reaganomics.

In short, there was very little reason for me to be so scared all of the time at night.
                                                                                                                         

One day, I was sitting in the family room, watching TV with my sister and Nana, when all of a sudden, we heard a small, but very distinct tapping at the window to our right.  We looked, and saw a little bird, a finch, pecking away at the window.

It was a big deal to see this little fella at the window – we always had a bluejay that lived in our back yard, a pair of cardinals, and several other birds – including a mother robin that built her nest under the pillars of our back porch. However, we had never seen a bird of this color – a bright, pure, vibrant yellow.  My nana explained to us that birds, when looking for mates, often bump into windows, because they are seeing their reflection and think they are interacting with another bird. We watched the bird peck away for a little bit – maybe about three minutes – and then it flew away.  We resumed our TV watching without a second thought.
                                                                                                                         

Dad kept complaining about his lack of sleep.  He was concerned that his heart was acting up…I was about twelve years old at this time, he was about forty-two.  He kept waking up multiple times in the middle of the night, and he would have the strange feeling of something pressing down on his chest.  He would start to panic, and force himself to sit up, and feel the pressure rise off of him. 

He shrugged it off as nothing and told us not to worry.  I looked down at my milk, and did exactly the opposite.
                                                                                                                          

The next day, I was sword fighting with a friend of mine in the backyard.  Having the hyperactive imagination I do, I get very caught up in such games, and get a little vigorous – sometimes to the point where the other guy can get seriously hurt.  This was one of those occasions.

I was the White Power Ranger, hurtling myself at my enemy, the insidious Lord Zedd – I imagined myself strong and fast, and unstoppable.  Although, I really wasn’t.  I was a weak little kid.  And this friend liked to play rough too.

My friend nicked me on the elbow with his wooden sword – drawing blood.  Normally, in this situation, I would sit down and cry.  And assured, the tears came, but with them the sting set something off in me, a real fight as opposed to flight response…and I went after him like a Musketeer on crack.

We bounced around the yard, thrusting, parrying, jump slashing, all around the perimeter of the house.  As we moved up the side of the house, I managed to get the best of my friend.  He fell to his back and I advanced over top of him,  blinded with rage…he opened his eyes wide in fear as I brandished my wooden sword above my head, as if I was going to run him through.  He made me bleed, and now he was going to seriously pay.

As I raised the sword above my head,  I heard a familiar sound – a small, but distinct tweet.  I looked to my right, only to see the little yellow finch, resting on the bush next to the family room window.  It was looking right at me, and chirping away – as if it was trying to tell me something.

Well, that didn’t work out for me – my friend, from his fallen position kicked me in the shin.  Hard.  I crumpled down, yelping out in pain.  He picked up his wooden sword, and reared back, ready to give me one hell of a welt on the shoulder, just as mad as I had been before.

Suddenly, the yellow finch darted from its perch, right past my opponent’s face.  Startled, he swatted at the air, and fell back, landing back on his rear.  We sat there for a few seconds, regained our breath and composure, and started to laugh – the fight or flight response had passed, and we were pals again.  I fell back and stared at the blue sky and cloud in the sky.  I gazed for a moment in my reverie, smiling.

Then, the chirp.  Again.  As if it were right in my ear.

I sat up, rather abruptly, and looked around.  The finch was nowhere to be seen.
                                                                                                                         

That night, Dad was cranky again. 

“I just haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Well, dear, what can we do about that?” 

“Nothing…”

“Is it me keeping you up?” (My mother was a tough lover.  Compassion and passive
aggression were deftly blended often)

“No…I’ve just been having weird dreams.”

“What do you mean, Dad?”

“It’s nothing…don’t worry about it.”

“…” (Milk.)
                                                                                                                         
 
The next couple of weeks continued to progress as usual.  Playing with friends, long TV sessions, just a kid enjoying his summer.   The only unusual thing was that little yellow bird.  It continued to show up at the window and peck. Constantly.   

And by "the window", I mean all of them. At my bedroom window, when I watched TV, even when I was using the bathroom.  Somehow, the little bugger would find me in a room at least once a day and peck-peck-peck at the window.  I would always try to ignore it, but the tapping had a strange urgency...I would always give in to its call, and stare at it for a few minutes before either leaving the room, or swatting at the window to chase it off.  I’d never see it on branches outside, flying around – the only time I saw the thing was when it was pecking at the window.

My nana noticed that the little yellow finch had an affinity for me.  “She must like your blond hair”, nana would say. 

But no – my mother and sister were blond, and it didn’t seem to follow them around…just me.  And my father.   He started to notice it as well. 

“That little bird is funny…what’s it tapping for?”

I continued to brush it off as nothing.  As much as it could be annoying, I really was delighted that we had a third primarily colored bird in our backyard.
                                                                                                                         

I woke up with a start one night, from a nightmare.   It was about two in the morning.   

I was cold with sweat, and pumped with fear-driven adrenaline...and in that moment, everything in your room can look terrifying.  The trees outside look like monsters, the light from the windows on the walls like ghosts, and the darkness in your room like a phantom looming over you.  I darted in to the hallway towards my parent’s room, scared out of my mind.

However, I brought myself to a halt in the landing of the foyer, right before the entrance to their door.  I was stopped by an overwhelming sense of shame…being twelve years old and running to your mom with a nightmare is kind of silly. 

My parents had talked to me about waking them at night with my silly nightmares.  I was a big boy – I knew the difference between real and make-believe, and that there was nothing in that darkness that could hurt me.  I had to learn to grow up and be brave.


I sat in the hallway, going back and forth about opening their door.  I was shaking all over.  The darkness of the house continued to make me uneasy….I felt eyes everywhere, felt too scared to go back to my room…the sound of the wind beating against the windows didn't help. Every shadow filled me with dread.

I decided to put my ear against the door and listen to see if, maybe, for some reason, my parents were awake.

And I heard my father.   Or, what I thought was him…he was moaning, speaking words that didn’t make sense…a lot of “nos” and “I’m sorrys” mixed with grunts... “the dress” and “coffee” and “Dick made me do it”.

I was now gripped with an intense fear…what was he doing?  I listened closer and closer, trying to build up the nerve to open the damned door.  His moans sounded more and more distressed, growing louder with each noise…my heart pounded…my legs trembling…my hand shaking….until finally, I pulled the door handle and swung the door open.

I saw my father, lying in bed, next to my sleeping mother, waving his hands in the air, as if he was swatting at something, hearing him moan and say “no” and “go away”…then, I heard it.  The tapping.  I looked to the window to my father’s left…and there she was. The finch.  Tapping.  Tapping.  Tapping.

Peck.

Peck.

Peck.

I was overwhelmed.  I screamed a long, high-pitched, throaty scream that sent the finch darting away.  At the same time, my father yelled out and shot up, waving his arms everywhere while screaming just as throaty of a scream, but one of a grown man terrified out of his mind.  My mother shot up as well (thank God they had a king size bed, otherwise she’d have a terrible black eye) and started frantically yelling – “What’s wrong?”

She grabbed onto my father’s arms, all the while yelling at him to calm down and asking over and over what was wrong.  I cried.  Stood right there and wept like a six year old who had seen a ghost.

My mother, understandably, was just as overwhelmed.  She grabbed onto my father and stroked him until he relaxed.  She then looked at me and screamed, angrily, for me to go back to bed.  I turned around and ran, charging into my room, in tears.  I heard my sister, awakened from the chaos, crying out in her room, and my toddler brother doing the same.  I leapt into bed and pulled the covers over me...I was shaking…cowering.  What had just happened?  The wind outside was howling, the trees still casting their dark shadows into my room.  Why was he yelling?  What was he grabbing at?

And why…was the finch there?

I continued to cry, soaking my one pillow with salty tears, while I pulled my other pillow over my head…It wouldn’t do away…I kept hearing it.  I couldn’t make it die down.

The tapping sound of that pecking.  Rhythmic.  Intentional.  Persistent. 

Peck.

Peck.

Peck.
                                                                                                                         

Scared yet?  Just wait for part two, story lovers!

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